When Mrs. Starch, the most feared biology teacher in Florida, goes missing during a school trip to the Black Vine Swamp, her class is secretly relieved. The school principal tries to cover it up as a ‘family emergency,’ but Nick and Marta aren’t convinced. They think it’s much more likely to have something to do with Smoke, the local troublemaker – whose run-ins with Mrs. Starch are infamous – and decide to do some investigating of their own.

But there’s more going on in Black Vine Swamp than either one of them could guess. And Nick and Marta will have to reckon with an eccentric eco-avenger, a stuffed rat named Chelsea, a crooked oil prospector, a singing substitute teacher, and an angry Florida panther before they really begin to see the big picture.

You need to pay close attention to everything mentioned in this story because the subject tends to change without warning. One minute you’re reading about one character then the next minute, the story is talking about an entirely different character.

Carl Hiaasen has had some pretty far-out characters in the first two books, but the substitute teacher in this book is completely out of left field. This guy is an absolute whack job, and that’s putting it nicely. You’ll have to read the book yourself to find out just how weird this guy really is.

As a bonus, here’s a picture of a Florida panther: